It is very hard to describe the fact of being someone all your life, and that person isn’t you. To live under a false identity is sort of hard to explain. Over the last few years, well I have had new senses come to birth. Especially this month and this week especially my senses have certainly changed/intensified beyond description. I honestly am amazed that I am even alive from what I have come through without emotion. For now simple joy is astronomically intense to me. Simple sorrow feels like someone has died. This blog post is a spiritual step of faith and obedience and I know many are having their BREAKTHROUGH of a lifetime as well this month/week/season. ABBA, I pray that I will take the time to get to know myself in a new way, and accept, love, and enjoy myself. Thank you especially for the little goldfinches that YOU SENT to my yard this last week. That was and is such a wonderful present!!! They have been all over the yard, and sitting in the ~~~~Blue Potato Bush Royal Robe (Solanum rantonnetii), inches from my office window, just peering in at me. So wonderfully accepted from YOU. So I declare the old Nicole is gone, and the Nicole You created is Alive and getting stronger as days proceed.